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You Are 20% Boyish and 80% Girlish

Even if you're not a girl, you're very feminine. You're in touch with your feelings, and your heart rules you. A bit of a emotional roller coaster, one moment you're up and the next you're down. But no matter what, you try to be as cute and perky as possible.

How Boyish or Girlish Are You?

Wake up call

Bleah Today is my wake up call

2 days to my examinations and I have not ripped my butt off my comfort zone to study anything yet!!! AARRRRGGHHHH!!!!!!! Deja vu man!!(for the 2nd time from year one) Okie sure I do know and remember all the concepts for all the modules but somehow.... Something tells me that I should not be slacking away over here... GAHHH I am one lazy person.....

Okie nothing eventful happened today... really it's pretty much computer games and reading stuff on the computer... I felt really guilty for not doing anything productive and thus went out for a jog.Guess what... my left leg started to burn up really bad after 1 or 2 km. Felt like it was gonna explode(like plak!! kind of explosion of flesh) I guess it should be my shoes but nah.... I m probably pushing the blame. It's like 4 years since I exercised seriously and diligently. confirm plus chop will have this problem... I think I will really die for NAPFA man.... Gotta train up(and YA I AM GETTING FAT).Thus is my wake up call for the day

I dunno somehow my feelings are messed up. No I am not saying that I am sad or angry. But neither am I happy or excited either... I have no idea how I feel... Human emotions.... A very complicated thing.(no I am not in love) It is just a feeling of blue.... some how this song is the closest I could find for my emotions

Air on G



Sad? Happy? I dunno but yea I got things to do I cannot sit down here and procrastinate.... others depend on me... I shall not fail them

yea here's something fun(to chase away the "blue" feeling sorry to brin you all down =))



On the lighter note I got something to confess

I like fierce girls =P *wink*

Chinese New Year

Happy Chinese New Year Everyone!!!!!!

Okie actually it's not really a happy season for me... Why? I don't know *($^@*(#^@#& Bahasa Indonesia!!!! *SCREAMS* It's like I am an exhibit every time I go visit my relatives la... And I never understand anything that they are saying :'(. SO it's pretty much getting $$$ for this season and not much meaning at all...(I am not a traditional kind of guy)

Valentine's day sucked... Not because I did not have a date or anything (Seriously Valentine's is one of the last days where you would want to have a date) but rather I had nothing to do due to the breakdown of my computer(It's fixed now btw). It's also a good thing cause I finally realise I rely a lot on the computer in my life... Maybe I should do something about it.(I had to resort to an antique Pentium one to get by lar... It's only equipped to do MSN and nothing else *sobz*)

Speaking about valentine's day. I feel that it does not even have a meaning. It's just like a reason for people to jack up prices to rip off more money from couples and the like. It's even worse when you live in Singapore where guys(most of the time) have to get really really creative just to have a "cheap" but fulfilling and fun date out with a girl. Oh well... Maybe I'm blabbering here because I have never spent my valentines with anyone.(But it does really make sense). But I strongly believe still that everyday should be a special day with your loved ones and not that they can only be appreciated when a special occasion arises. One good idea might be have a "special valentine's day" that is held any other day other than valentine's day =). (I am beginning not to make any sense)

Oh yea I'll prolly be playing this song for the next concert. Enjoy =)

The Two Cello Concerto by Vivaldi

Reflections

Pardon me for I have been "cold" to thee. Pardon me for being silent to thee. Pardon me for not looking into everyone of your eyes when we speak. Pardon me Pardon me. It is just the way I am. No one can change me but God if He is willing. It is a terminal illness within me that makes me look normal in front of the insane and insane in front of the normal. It is to the point that I make insanity seem normal through my insanity alone. Afflicted through birth this is all I remember. Not anyone I blame but myself. Not anything I blame. The blame is mine and only mine alone to bear. It's surely no physical death. But a mental and emotional one. What is a healthy body when the mind and spirit is sick?

I have nothing to say. My mind is just blank. Nothing in this world fills it. Only childish fantasies consisting of swords and magic. I am an outcast in your conversations. You are not like me and I am not like you all. It is not a matter of class. It is just a simple matter of differences.

Maybe it is just a fear within me. The fear to let people see the creature within this shell of a body of mine. The creature that holds my name in thrall. Angel or Devil I have no idea. It might be something else entirely for I have no idea. But we all have an idea since we are all sinners.

Even more is the fear to interact with people of the opposite gender! How much of an idiot I sound whenever I speak to any of them. It's not about any romantic relations! Nor is it about lust!!! It's just that I am shyed away at the sight of thee. A supposed other half of mankind. How much I wish I were like my peers. Daring and not tongue-ties. To look into their eyes and not shy away like me.

Again don't get me wrong. All of you I like. All of you I care. All of you I adore. All of you I love. I hold not grudge hatred nor sorrow against any of you. Or at least until now. But it is simply foreign. I am a foreigner in this country of love. Teach me my brothers and sisters this language of love. This language for which all of you comunicate. Teach me love!!! For I am a foreigner from a land of sorrow, lust, hatred, anger and unlove. I pray that I can learn thee and it is not too late.

Until a man meets his wife he is incomplete,

when he is finally marries he is finished

Gross

Soetimes I just find it gross... Those people who act cute... I mean... I understand secondary school la.. but heck she's like in poly and still acting cute!!! eeeeee er xin!!(not talkin bout u, girl A =) ). Well I think it's just me bein too crappy. Maybe thats how she is.. BUT STILL!!!! EEEEEEEE!!! Man I got to learn how to get over these kind of things.


I have officially acted in such a dumb manner that i wasted my $15 on a cab to reach school at 8 when the lesson's actually starting at 10 *weeps*

When I view upon my christian life, in many ways I think about the jedi in star wars. Sure it's not a total likeness(actually it's just a very small small portion of likeness) but our lifestyle in many ways are quite similar. Everyday we are bombarded with many temptations and evils that will plunge us to the "dark side". That's how it is for me. Worse still I still do some bad stuff even though I KNOW they are bad. Sure God forgives me but I shouldn't take this for granted. I should change my ways and bad habits. Sure I have changed but it isn't a total makeover.

Only the weak shall succumb to violence

Nosey Parker 2

Turns out it's really me WAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Has a brief conversation with her in her blog... too many coincidences... definitely me... But i also breached a private blog... -.-!

Anyways today was pretty uneventful....(AGAIN!!!!) started my day off with an interview by SCS(some prestigious IT company that I, surprisingly don't know about considering that it was prestigious). This time I did not answer questions wrongly(or at least I think that I didn't)HOWEVER, the interviewer asked me like little to none questions?!?! man now I'm really getting a tad bit worried. But oh well, all's done and I can't do anything about it. We'll just see how it goes.

So yea the interview ended at 1130 and i had Strings at like 6....

How did i kill my time? I went to watch kungfu mahjong 3!!! BWAHAHAHA!!!! and I was like one of the 5 people watching the movie la.... in such a big theatre...

after that i pretty much slacked till 6 and went for cello lessons again~... finally Julian and I can play that piece (barely)~ Hopefully we can play this for Sinfonia =)

Nosey Parker...

Bleah it's now my hols already... not exactly my hols but yea I don't need to go to school regularly now.

Honestly sometimes when I try to interact with individuals of another gender. I tend to have this fear of what they think of me. No don't get me wrong, it's not that I want to appear as the number one eligible hunk or something like that. Nor am I afraid to show them who I truly am. It's just that I am afraid that they think that I am woo-ing or interested in them in some way. Maybe it's due to the fact that I do not really interact with girls in my early years. Maybe it's just that I am just too shy in front of almost any girl that I act like a total moron in front of them. Thus with each friendship with the other gender i tend to get a bit more colder and colder.

So if I have offended any of you ladies because of this. I sincerely apologise for being who I am.

That aside it's been pretty boring without any work in my hands(well other that the usual stuff). So I have recently been typing my name into various search engines.

Guess what? I stumbled onto a blog which were not meant for my eyes only. Don't get me wrong. It's nothing negative about me. It was quite positive.... no wait.... i rephrase.... VERY POSITIVE(get what I am trying to say?). It's kinda scared me off because I really do think who the author is writing about in that post is actually me due to the fact that we have quite a number of similarities(same school etc etc). And I am pretty sure only I have that name in that school(and the various factors)

It's no good thing. Because It's kinda her secret. And i stumbled in like a big buffoon.Good thing I am not close to her. I do hope that guy she wrote isn't me(Though I think chances are slim). I just hope I can be normal in front of her.

Nothing much is gonna happen now but yea it seems that I am gonna get more chances to serve now =) halleluyah! I just pray though that I would be acceptable. Whatever I do will be acceptable.

And oh yea... It's gonna be mugging period(but I have a feeling i'm gonna end up slacking through it again like my previous semesters)

Dreams

Alrighty lemme start the post off with a question to tickle your minds with

This is a question that was asked to kindergarten kids and to univerity students

90% of those kindergarten students who were questioned got this question correct

10% of those university students who were questions got this question correct

Here's the question:What is the phrase most used in english?

you have unlimited tries.

Hint:Think simple.


I see my life and I see how horrid it has been. I see it know what a fool I was for you are ripped my blindfolds right out. For that I thank you. But also for that I have guilt in my heart. Twice I have failed. Twice I have done something so foolish. I will never forget how I have forsaken the truth to hold on a lie just so that I could hold on to truth. It was actually all so simple but yet I made it all so complicated. It was already forgiven and forgotten and not talked about. But I can never do that.

Wah the past week have been quite boring. It's mainly a bit of cleaning up my program and all that. So I think I'm gonna just end my post here g'night =)