Dead Beat

You know it's only after the last post that I realized quite a lot of people do read this blog despite of the crappy appearance and owner with irregular updates


You are not my love.... It's the you that resides in my mind that is my love..... I am sure that the you that i meet everytime is not the you that i see every second within the darkness of my mind. I know what must be done (or rather NOT be done at this case). Now's neither the time nor place for such immature romance. There are still dreams to accomplish. Even so, without those dreams. I am not yet a man. This has been proven for a number of occasions good and bad. I cannot be that pillar of strength for you to rely on if you'd ever need someone to lean on. I'd probably crumble at the slightest touch. For my foundation is not really there.

If we by chance or will ever be together(or for any girl). I do wish it not to be just a facade. I don't wish it to be just child's play. I want it to be real. Something that carries on to marriage. Even if we did break up for some reason. At least we were serious. Not wasting precious time of our average 75 years of life. You might not think me mad for thinking too far. But in all due respect, isn't such love supposed to end up in marriage? So why would I bother if it is just for that period of fake joy which I am already regretting. It would be a waste of time(and not to mention money =) ) for both of us.

As much as this passage sound like I am very much in love. I am pretty pretty sure at this very point of time I am not in love with her and it's pretty much a crush. Why I sound like I am in love? uhhh.... I guess it's the "art" genes in me doing the workout(it's in overdrive cause I have not been doing anything artistic for a long time).

Anti-virus programs are seriously over-rated. Why? Well this is how an anti-virus program works. What it does is just detect for symptoms within the computer and react by comparing the possible viruses and thus eradicating the virus if they find a match in their library. So what happens if this virus is able to mutate?Yes you heard me... mutate. It occurs within computer viruses if they are programmed to do so. There also chances of not even finding that virus within the library. Thus the anti-virus would not be able to do anything. Not to mention it lags your computer like #@$&(@*$&. Don't get me wrong though... I am not saying that anti-viruses are totally useless... I am just saying that there is a limit. And it's a limit that is very easily exploited. Wanna know how to exploit it? Very simple =)

Just go surf lots of porn, free game, casino and of course "suspicious" sites(actually I think blogger is one of them).

The bottom line is... even though your computer can have a powerful defense system... it's still gonna go down when you wade into danger.


Yea I am gonna end it here tonight.... long week again (with attachment)

What happened

Lots of stuff happened during the time i did not blog so bear with me =)

What's happened to me that I am so weak to you... How many times has it been that I have again thought of you? For many days weeks months I have thought of you. I will not sing that this is love nor would I preach it. I would just say that you are someone special. Special enough that a few of your words and minutes make me think of you in hours. It's merely months that I've known you but yet you made a deep impression.

It would never work. That I definitely know it. I am a variable that is never constant. A variable with an array of values. You are just too good for me. It's also the circumstances that keeps it this way. How disastrous will it be if I actually tell how I feel to you even IF it is love? I would be an architect of my own destruction.

I know by some chance you will read this. I don't mind you reading this... I just mind that you know who you are...



Aiya aiya aiya don't mind the passage up there it's just a guy trying to be artistic with his hormones and nothing more... =)

That aside I am being tekan-ed by my superiors at my workplace (I am doin my attachment now =)) got a lot of stuff that I dun understand there la... wa lao eh .... and the hours there are like loooooong (0830 - 1800)... but oh well that's my choice as an IT professional... =(

To make matters worse... they are considering keeping me and my mates here in singapore for an additional month before we could actually go.... (and I just got my exit Permit approved :'( )

Few days ago I just went to East Coast Park with my church people =). It was quite fun really, I got back in touch with roller blading after such a long period of time. I still haven't lost it after these years (though I did have a bit of a fall). Really look forward to buying blades so that I don't need to use the crappy ones that I paid $7 to borrow(can someone say rip-off?).

Also helped Guy A (yay~ finally a guy) do his programming stuff for his assignment. This somehow brought me to think back to who I was 2 years ago. I remember that I knew jack about programming but here I am doing this in a matter of minutes~~~ Really thank God for this gift he has laid upon me (maybe it's because of one of the ideas concerning a bible game that I wanted to develop LOL)

Okie I am really tired now...(believe me you kids at school.... Please please cherish your time in school) I am writing gibberish in this post *screams*

Good night